Framing Selfish Pictures (age 18)

This is a difficult one to rewrite. For that matter it is one that I have forgotten about. I left the strikes in as they appear on the paper, because somethines what a writer takes away can show you more of that writer. Framing Selfish Pictures was written a few months after my first son died, his father no longer wanted me because the doctors feared that all my children would share the same fate. You will see many more on this topic.

Timid Ghosts hiding,
behind curtains of my
many misconceptions
unwept dreams
Caution seeps from my fingertips.

Timid emotions hiding
behind curtains of my
many misconceptions

Though Caution may seep from my fingertips.
My unforgiving palms, leave an unloving sting
yet it neglects to spill from my mouth.
You only see this one thing
though timid emotions
hide behind curtains of my
many misconceptions.
a child that fell from my
A Child that I named a month before
in skins tones of green
open eyes for some love to say farewell.
Then ceases to breathe.
I'll hide in my guilt, a body diseased.
my body diseased
As you walk from my heart,
in contempt and disgrace,
for fault you have rested upon my chest.
A burden I deserve to asphyxiate in.
Yet I can not sit in the corner
bloodying my lips with anger from my teeth
I wish not to touch you with my hands
my tongue shall lash your skin.

No longer will I find imperfections
in my portrait
Nor will I allow you
to rape me with false fault.
my willful mouth
no longer seeks yours.
Viciously searching for heart.
Something that you have allowed to rot
from deep inside.
I have nothing left to love,
and you nothing left to gain.
an exit you must find
before caution
ceases to seep,
from my fingertips.